I’m a bisexual woman whose hormones and genetics would cause many doctors to deem her intersex or non-binary, at the very least. I have been asked by several doctors and people if I’m trans* or AFAB or any of the many rude and offensive ways discrimination begins.

I have PCOS.

PCOS is polycystic ovarian syndrome.

In some cases, there are literal cysts. In other cases, the ovarian follicles are just more numerous or grown out more than expected based on factors like age and weight. In most cases, PCOS means that the body produces excess androgens, which are known as male hormones, kind of like testosterone (which is also going to be tested for to get a diagnosis in many offices).

In nearly every case I’ve heard or read about, PCOS is missed as a diagnosis the first time an adolescent reaches an OBGYN, and this often causes gender identity confusion or dysphoria in adolescents.

Why?

Well, imagine you are a young woman in her early teens. You are hearing your friends talk about the wonderful (and some not so) changes puberty brings them. There is sex ed in school (or at least there used to be) where there are talks of menses and how a woman’s primary function in any adult relationship is to bear children.

One symptom of PCOS is lessened frequency and duration of menses in adolescents and can (and often does) last through adulthood.

As a woman in middle school, I am not going to pretend I wasn’t thrilled to not have experienced painful periods. Mine were maybe two to four days and I basically didn’t need much more than the lightest tampons out there. (Anyone reading this, I don’t apologize for disgusting you.)

Another symptom of PCOS is excessive weight gain, typically around the stomach. The weight can gain heavily in many other areas, but tends to provide the person with a more masculine physique.

This was the most annoying symptom.

PCOS can also cause masculine patterned facial hair and make muscle easier to gain.

I was not very athletic, but liked going to the gym in the mornings, and so the ability to make gains very quickly was quite delightful to me.

But what does this have to do with trans* rights?

Well, if you have noticed, the symptoms I’m mentioning are showing how PCOS gives socially deemed masculine traits to adolescents who are most likely identifying as someone who expresses congruency with feminine traits.

Transgender at its most basic is defined as being someone who does not identify with the assigned (at birth) biological gender.

I’m more nuanced than that, though.

The transgender community also includes identities of intersex and nonbinary (there are many more, but that would be a whole post on its own).

Intersex is loosely defined as being someone who shares genetic/physical characteristics of both sides of the gender binary; that is, someone holds both feminine and masculine traits simultaneously.

Nonbinary is loosely defined as being someone who does not ascribe to either gender, often electing to identify fluidly, or as a combination that the individual sees congruent with themselves.

I’m not going to pretend I got those definitions perfect, but I hope I provided a good enough explanation to further the post in a more coherent manner than I otherwise could if not.

When I was in college, I briefly toyed with the idea of coming out as nonbinary.

Sometimes, I honestly still do.

I don’t feel hyper-feminine like I’m meant to, and I don’t feel like I want to be masculine, either. I can confidently assert my chromosome and pubic makeup would dissuade an intersex identity from being mine to have. Nonbinary was the most amazing label for me! There was no obligation to select gender presentation or be consistent in it.

If we are to be honest as can be here, I am nonbinary.

I haven’t made a point to care though because “nonbinary woman” makes illogical sense to me, and most people in my family would likely desribe me that way if I were to come out and make sure people attempted to use non gender specific pronouns. I don’t really like the idea of assuming a pronoun specific to gender presentation.

My view is that your gender identity should (within reason) never be a component in assessing validity of words or intent of action. Gendered biases in professions is part of the reason I don’t make a point to out my (preferred) pronouns.

I work in finance and hope to work in psychology one day. (The road to which is vaguely documented in the progression and wide array of content within this blog.) Both are heavily gendered in their historical approaches. Finance historical implications were that only men could be smart and logical enough to be taken seriously, while historical implications in pyschology were using gender specific (where the gender was often pre-determined) groups in researching diagnostic and symptomatic trends.

To come out is admitting to having the energy to explain to everyone that “nonbinary woman” isn’t inaccurate but rather faulty language and then explain how “they’re nonbinary” is sufficient and a genered term to express me following “nonbinary” undercuts the point of adressing my gender.

To all my trans* siblings, queer human folx, and allies,

Thank you for being you!

XOXO,

Dorothy B