Last course, I took a finessed approach to talking about my experience with police violence and brutality. It taught me a lot about ethics.

My professor told me one of the most amazing pieces of feedback on that disaster, “You are smart and capable,” which is where this piece begins today.

My recent friends remarked I’m not a kid, and I don’t put up with nonsense and bullying.

I recently was asked to leave an internship.

I happily left after realizing I was free labor to an unethical boss and company.

I am smart and ethical, and I am not a kid, so I do not take mistreatment lightly.

My inner heart wants to be a vocal human who is loud, proud, brash, bold, and shows no mercy for people who are unethical and immoral. In social work, I have run into many issues where I have been denied jobs because I was not wanted due to these strong ethics. I was disappointed, and pivoted into new roles, new fields, and new types of career placements.

My ethics begin and end with valuing the client’s wants and needs over mine. My ethics begin and end with that compliance is not just paperwork but is a means to demonstrate quality of care that is happening. It is not there for show. It is unethical if it is.

The private agency who took me on believed that I could be bullied into being told that my background, knowledge, experience, and education were unethical to call mine and call earned in professional settings. The agency director, “Carla”, seemed madder that I knew things she didn’t than that I was misrepresenting myself to her.

To begin, Carla alleged that I was unethical in my representation of myself.

I can prove that she was the unethical one. No amount of her twisting words or facts on me can make me feel otherwise. Agency paperwork was written very clearly. A schedule with my hours was sent ahead of time and cleared by Carla ahead of time. I was clear as day that this is a clinical internship and I am in a clinical degree program with clinical supervision required of me, as I am a clinician and nothing less is desired.

This was all agreed upon.

We agreed to find me a clinical supervisor, as per my needs as a clinical intern. We agreed the school’s needs were important to me, as well. I didn’t realize that she was going to play nice for as long as I played her game of letting her control me.

Carla was furious the entire time that she was not allowed to be my clinical supervisor, despite telling me ahead of time she understood that she was not allowed to be. Carla’s degree of MA, with no license, did not suffice. There are reasons for this, and I personally understood them, and so I had a clinical supervisor with an independent clinical license of LCSW.

Carla was furious beyond measure when I referred to myself as a therapist or clinician who was a graduate student in a clinical MSW program. She claims it’s a violation of ethics to represent myself this way. Her sticking point was that it’s a violation because she only wanted me to be called a “counseling intern,” I had no flexibility.

On a complete side note: Carla never actually stated to me what my title was or what she wanted me to be called or refer to myself as. She simply told me I was an intern providing clinical therapy services, as we had agreed upon. Without documented proof of her ideas, how are we to say the fault is mine for her lack of commitment to ethical behavior?

To me, verbiage isn’t the point of that code. The point of that code is to say that if I am representing myself as something I am not, something I did not do, have no training in, and did not perform to a level I am suggesting – then it is a violation.

Using equivalent terminology wrong on day one? Not a violation.

Doing something with the intent to promote harm to others? That’s a violation.

And for what it’s worth, that was a training I attended before the internship started and she even told me what my title was and what I was to refer to myself as. In fact, I still am not sure where my title is listed anywhere. I cannot locate it anywhere. I have searched for it in my email and documents. She wants to play the game of not liking me for my ethical boundaries.

I answered a question asked of someone in the group training, posed to the whole group. I got feedback from Carla when she needed me to stop talking, and I quickly apologized and stopped. She said directly to me not to be sorry, just that I was answering too much of a question.

It didn’t seem the issue was an ethical violation on my end. Rather, it seemed the issue was that she didn’t want me to vocalize my experience to others. I was meant to sit down and be quiet about my past. I was there only as a warm body for her to bill Medicaid for the time of.

Ethically, when we are receiving clinical supervision, we are ethically allowed to refer to ourselves as therapists or clinicians. Just because the supervision wasn’t from Carla did not mean that I was not getting it or that it was done in vain.

She is the one who is using interns to make herself money while alleging that interns are to be on call, have no work outside of the internship, and never stand up for what was mutually agreed upon at the start of the internship agreement. Employment is not a joke to me.

Carla also wants to suggest that I am rude and offensive.

Maybe? I’m direct, and upfront. I see things for what they are. Calling a horse a zebra is unethical as well as pretending we didn’t see either the horse or the zebra in the first place.

Surely, she understands where this is her mistake, as well.

She begins in a training by saying that I am very smart and have a lot of talent and skills. Then begins wanting me to ask questions on a PowerPoint. I can read a PowerPoint. I didn’t obtain a bachelor’s in economics by luck. Maybe she obtained her education through luck, but I worked hard for all 240 credits of my undergrad degree. I let it go and ignore the lack of professionalism in berating me and her lack of reading my resume and realization that I have clinical experience.

Then we’re done with the training.

I’m about to log off. She blind sighted me with questions about the other interns. I do not engage in bullying the interns. She asks me what I think of their groups. I give my short feedback, and she combatively tells me she disagrees with me.

I can tell she’s wanting to fight me and asking me to essentially bully interns who I am trying to be professional with while also maintain decorum with. She begins by asking what I think of each intern and where I think each one should be. I am not there to do her job, and I am not there to bully others on behalf of her. She was asking me to be a paid role she is unqualified to perform. She was asking me guidance on clinical direction, which is not fair to ask me.

I actively listened, and stated back that I wouldn’t know if that’s what I’m trying to say, as I’m an intern, and that’s not my place to tell her. I have ethics and respect for supervisors. Even when a supervisor is treating me poorly, I will not engage in a fight. I learned well from an earlier clinical experience that you do not fight an angry client who wants to fire you.

This ends poorly for you, and there is only so much bullying we are to take as interns.

She seems mad and frustrated that I refuse to engage with her need to bully interns. I don’t take on the toxic culture of bullying fellow interns; that’s unethical and irresponsible. I find that behavior repulsive and not something to be expected. It is immoral, as well. She wants to pick a fight with me, as she is convinced, I am rude and offensive, not just neurodiverse, and poor at communication at times. She sees my assertion of knowledge as rude and offensive.

I see her assertion of needing to bully as a lack of professionalism and a need to prove to interns that she is the boss through poor management and unethical behavior.

Due to my disengagement with her desire to get me to bully interns, which I found already heinous and beyond measure, she decides to get to the heart of her issue. She is feeling really that I am threatening her due to my excitement to perform tasks for the agency. I would not say this.

I am trying to gently end the call, as there is not much I can do about being told I need to stay on a call for a portion of time already blocked out in my calendar.

Carla asks me how I would respond to a group session where someone is flustered and panicked and is really wanting to get things off their chest. I wondered almost if she was asking for herself, that she was trying to suggest I triggered her, and she was subconsciously telling me my clinical experience and knowledge were offensive and rude because they were ethically mine to claim as a graduate student receiving clinical supervision towards clinical licensure.

When we trigger our clients, our supervisors, or our field managers, our responsibility to the profession at large is to walk away graciously and kindly.

Yet, her exact alleged words are that I could not offer any sensible answers.

Oddly, and realistically, I gave her a response that she liked, and said was good, and needed a little bit of tweaking. I thanked her kindly for the feedback. I was flustered in the moment because she was taking on a persona that I was not prepared for but also was asking me to behave as a clinician in a training slated only to be on policies and procedures for one task and documentation needs.

It is my right to say that when a manager insists on taking on a role she is not, and that she is trying to allege that I answered her questions in ways I did not, that it is unethical of her.

It was all in a response to me saying it was unfair to throw at me at the last minute a twist in training as an intern. I have clinical experience and I have not lied about that. I never once said I was licensed or that I am a clinical professional. I work as a statistician. Carla wants to allege that being an MSW student in no way equates to being a full-time professional.

I wonder how many students can take full days off, every week, on call, without prior authorization, for an unpaid internship? Is this really her expectation? That we agree on a schedule, she provides training, no context for expectations, expects me to ask when, pretends that she stated ahead of time unstated requirements, and then turns around on me my rights?

I was an intern who was unpaid for labor she billed Medicaid for.

I understood that.

What was unclear was the lack of professionalism and respect for me as a full-time working professional who cannot, will not, and refuses to have her schedule taken advantage of in retaliation for standing up for herself by refusing to engage in unethical conduct.

I left because she asked.

But I would not have wanted to stay, anyway.

XOXO,

Dorothy B.